Monday, June 30, 2008
no one was home, i was bored and borderline lonely, and it was a success.
i contacted a girl named ann. she said she died in 1910 from measles. she asked me if i was dead, why i was here and why i was alive. she was nice.
it felt good. i forgot to ask if she doesn't like boys. oh, i also asked if she was a ghost or a spirit and she said a ghost and i asked her what the difference was but she went to a few letters that didn't go well together and then went to "no." i guess i'll have to wait to learn that one.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
i think i slept for around nine hours last night, but on the drive to pick up a favorite friend from the airport, i could barely keep my eyes peeled.
i dropped him off, came home, turned judge joe brown on the tv and dozed for a while.
now i sit here on the couch, contemplating heading into town early for a cup of coffee.
oh! something really cool happened this morning.
in a dream, there was a loud noise (maybe like a foghorn or something) and then a person said my name over a loudspeaker in a shout: "ALLY."
this startled me enough to wake up and immediately i thought of adam (probably because i was worried i'd overslept and left him hanging around albany airport). not 30 seconds later, my phone rang and it was him, letting me know he was on his plane and it was leaving on time.
i think he contacted me with brain waves.
and now, more webcam fun! this is me with a long-stemmed rose!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
the best synchronicity that happened is this:
on a somewhat-rainy mountain drive to Mass MoCA, my co-pilot chose 'the village green preservation society' by the kinks as a soundtrack. lovely.
there was an installation at the museum that was made of these little mini-greenhouses (i'm probably not describing them accurately) that were suspended from the ceiling. each had one or two holes in the bottom for sticking your head in. the first greenhouse we visited was called 'village green.'
it was a fun trip. one of the exhibits didn't really do it for me, though, sadly. it was western artists in china. i don't know. a lot of bad art film and some weird photography. there was one artist from that exhibit that i liked. one out of at least seven, maybe more.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
i'll never again feel guilty for hanging out on the roof late-night style. NEVER, i say.
i'm not bothered by this noise. i find it funny/odd that it's being made by the grown-ups that live here rather than us rascally 20-somethings.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
i did win a pretty intense single-round game of rock-paper-scissors last night, though. there was a lot riding on it. beth and i had both worked the day shift and had been swindled into hostessing at night. it was a sort of boring and completely exhausting dinner shift and all the both of us wanted was a grilled cheese sandwich dipped in ketchup.
so when cj said one of us could head out, we decided to just play one round of r-p-s, with an objective referee.
i threw paper. she threw a rock.
beth said that girls always throw something (i forget) and boys always throw the other (i forget) but no one ever throws paper. HA! take THAT.
i had mini-synchronicity last night, i guess. there's this friend i haven't seen in months and i've been thinking of her a lot recently, especially since i've been back at the restaurant. i thought i saw her from behind on broadway then the woman turned around and it wasn't my friend. only about an hour later, she was sitting at the bar. it was beautiful.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
it was an epic dream that involved a falling moon, a man telling me i was standing like a 'fat kid,' my boss bossing me around, babysitting, a gambling ring and either david hasselhoff or patrick swayze (i get the two confused and fuggedabout trying to figure out the dream-being). the UFO was the same one i saw in waking life and this time it came really close and zapped me with the laser beam.
most of these things are just residue from the day, so not that significant. i had spent part of the evening contemplating the cosmos and the nearly full moon with a dude that looks like a mixture of hasselhoff, swayze with a dash of denzel washington. i was also on the lookout for UFOs.
the most meaningful part is that when i saw the UFO, so did everyone else. normally in my UFO dreams, no one around me will acknowledge its presence. but this time, we all cheered. and i think i might have been lucid dreaming the laser zapping. but i don't know what happened after the zap. i might have woken up from all the excitement.
last night the moon was beautiful. i enjoyed it alone. i did feel its effects, though they were not so magical and moving as last month's. this time i was just really clumsy and dropping stuff all day at work and had an eventful journey home (detours, really) from a great reunion with a great woman.
now it's off to salvation army for lucky full moon finds!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
either way, this is an attempt at sharing my writing that digs a little deeper than synchronicity and ouija boards. here goes nothing:
Sitting, thinking of circles. Thinking circularly. Everything comes back to the beginning and its all so repetitious. I’m thinking things that I’ll later say that I’ll later do that I’ll later regret when I remember thinking and saying and doing them.
Sometimes I skip the saying. I just go from thought to action to regret and then I do the same thing all over again, more or less. And then I skip the regret. Thought to action to thought to action; leave out the thought and I just do and eventually I’ll reflect and regret and retract and repress but it’s all the same all the time. Nothing changes. I don’t change. Maybe you do, but I don’t. I see the same shit and I feel the same shit and I think the same shit, day in and day out.
Nothing’s new to me and anything that is new I grow tired of so soon.
Something broke but I don’t want to fix it. Even if I’m to blame. Mom’ll be home from work soon. She can take care of it. Better wash my hands of dust and shards, lest she catch on to me.
I don’t know how to express anything that’s happening within me right now.
i knew i was doing this off-site fancy party catering and that i had to be at the restaurant in black pants and a white button-up shirt (they'd provide the bow ties) with my hair pulled back (it's so easy to tame this mop) at 4 p.m.
i hadn't even realized the date. a deejay on the radio told me.
so i'm running around doing daytime stuff, and halfway through my workout at the gym, i decided to check my phone for missed calls. yup. boss lady called to let me know that i was supposed to be hostessing at 11. it was noon when i heard the message. here we go.
yadda yadda, i get to work at about 12 45 (i'm magical) and here come the synchronicities and freaks.
i'll start with the freaks.
some chick from a hotel came up and asked for a few to-go menus. i looked at her right arm and i could see the bottom of a tattoo under her shirt sleeve and it was clearly horse hooves. "what's your tattoo?" i asked, hoping for a unicorn or centaur. she got a weird look on her face. (i try to never feel bad asking to see someone's tattoo or asking specifics about it because they shouldn't be permanently marking themselves if they aren't okay with the whole world seeing the mark) "a horse." and she lifted her sleeve up quickly and looked away and the horse (i'm not kidding) was wearing a german flag and had a swastika on its head or shoulder, i can't remember which because it was so quick.
"can i also have an application?" i'm not kidding. she really said this to me after showing me her nazi pride. "it's not for me, it's for someone else."
ok this is the best synchronicity that happened:
also while at the hostess stand, i was talking to a guy eating lunch and he was telling me about this long vacation he's in the middle of and he said that his next stop is to fly down to miami and he's going to hop on a boat and sail up to virginia. as he's saying this, he looks toward broadway traffic and what passes by? a truck towing a sailboat. serious.
now we're at the party. two loaded parents who are investors in the restaurant threw a graduation party for their daughter who just finished up at union college at their mcmansion on saratoga lake. it was beautiful.
i felt like i was in one of bret easton ellis' novels. so many rich college graduates in wayfarers, sipping mojitos and champagne, talking with their parents and their friends' parents about what they're doing next (west africa was the most exotic thing i heard). there was also lots of talk about finance and stock portfolio diversification. and hockey or lacrosse or something.
it was a beautiful glimpse into a different kind of life.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
either way, stay tuned. lots of synchronicity and even a nazi-sighting. whattaweird day.
also, scroll down to a few posts back. i updated the unicorn e-mail post because i got ANOTHER e-mail with a link to a photo of the cute little baby italian unicorn!
Friday, June 13, 2008
first, there were a bunch of us. nothing. then ben, nate and i went down to the basement. i don't know why, but we did. hardly anything.
so then we tried it in my bedroom. nothing.
our floor was the girls' floor when this building was an orphanage. there have been reports of dudes feeling unwelcome here. none of the dudes that were over the other night have had any creepy experiences or negative vibes. but i still blame them for the ouija not working.
there, i said it. i blame you, dudes, and your testosterone.
on another note, check out what i can do with my webcam:
that's my new friend, djowe0r9943k4jlfi3!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
show details 6:53 AM (6 hours ago)
i've never gotten any e-mail alerts from yahoo. i don't even like yahoo. next thing you know, i'll be getting links to celebrity sex videos (you know who you are, person who will be held responsible if such things happen)!
UPDATE: thanks to one of my favorite friends (he'll never call me the same and i'd probably lose interest if he did), i now can provide you with an image of this lovely beast:
thank you, adam. and thank you, geekologie.
watching a heat-lighting storm illuminate thick white clouds at midnight, practicing the accordion with the violent femmes and playing MASH in early evening sun-shadow, drinking wine around candles and gossiping with pretty people until it's time to go inside and ouija.
these are contributing factors to my recent perma-smile.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
no major synchronicities, but we did make some new friends.
also, just now i'm chatting with ekmanibus (old latin professor), and he's asking me what i sang. last night we were chatting before i went, and i asked for song suggestions. i told him i just couldn't take him up on his "don't stop believing" suggestion.
when i just told him that "band on the run" was among my five-song-set-list, he said he was going to suggest it since i love paul so dearly.
i guess that's at least a little fakely synchronous.
last night, while standing out on the roof patio late-night style, i saw a helicopter. another woman might have mistaken it for another UFO, but not this little lass. i've got more wits about me. see? i'm not nuts. the other UFO was real. i just don't know why they haven't returned for me yet.
on another note, dahlia brought me some more turkish delight. i think that's an even more enjoyable breakfast than pop rocks ice cream. after all, there's no pop rocks ice cream in narnia.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
i walked on fire (eh, coals) tonight.
sadly, it wasn't really the spiritual journey i'd hoped it would be. luckily the people i went with had the same feeling. the most moving experience was cosmic on a different level altogether.
in the end, i suppose it was an affirming experience. there was talk about shadow work (something i've been reading about and really trying to grasp and practice). i think that i'm on the right track with my whole Becoming process. that makes me feel good.
there was an "energy vampire" there tonight. i think she really ruined the whole vibe. she had a teenage daughter with her that was pretty cool though. i shared a really intense experience with the daughter.
we saw a UFO. i almost cried and then i crossed the coals for the second time.
seriously. a UFO. it was incredible. this place where we were is so beautiful and magical and words don't do it justice. the sky is vast out there and i knew something good was brewing up there. then i looked toward the moon and to the right, there were headlights. like in a car. also, kind of like the nite owl's airship in "the watchmen."
the beams from the headlights made a grand sweep, falling across our gathering in the grass. i'm not making this up. energy vampire's daughter saw it too. it flew across the sky above us.
there were bright yellow lights arranged like a diamond. four of them. in the middle were red and blue little lights.
this moved me more than breaking an arrow and building a fire and walking across coals.
maybe i did learn a few things. oh, and there was a lot of synchronicity with the whole ordeal. i'm going to sleep on it. maybe blog about it more, maybe not.
mostly, i try to look up when i'm walking so i don't run into stuff, but sometimes i check out my feet and the ground directly ahead of them. i guess that's so i don't trip on stuff. anyway, i walking and looking down and rockin' out and i felt a pull to lift my eyes. as i did so, also a pretty little white-with-brown-spots cat lifted its eyes and looked so happy and started bounding toward me.
(the residential end of caroline street is like cute cat central.)
the cat and i swiftly made our respective ways to each other and then we spoke. he mostly just mewed. i said things about how cute and sweet he was and how i felt bad that i had no food to offer (my typical pick-up lines).
then i went to work.
i have to work today. i hope the journey there will be half as cool.
also, yesterday i found that pack of fake moustaches at soave faire that i've been dreaming of.
also, yesterday i made mistakes.
also, tonight i might do something really awesome that has the creepiest line from the twin peaks movie ('fire walk witthhhh meeeeeeeee') totally stuck in my head. is it worth $100?
Friday, June 6, 2008
finally, i saw her in person yesterday at the gym. i got really nervous to talk to her, i'm not sure why. but i made myself do it because i knew it'd regret it otherwise.
i watched donnie darko a few days ago and drew barrymore's character in that movie always makes me think of this teacher. my favorite teacher wasn't so cold as drew's character, but she was the "cool" english teacher.
i must have summoned her.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
one of the hostesses at work called me this morning and left a message asking if i could work for her because she's *cough* sick.
now, i worked with her yesterday and she is indeed sick. she was coughing all day and it was kind of gross. but the message was so dramatic. she literally coughed between the words "i'm" and "sick." puh-leez.
i don't know what i'm going to do but i'm totally going to make fun of her about it next time i see her.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
- a swollen, pregnant, dread-headed momma sitting on the stoop of manifest station, smokin' a cigarette. i guess if you smoke hippy cigarettes, the baby won't come out all deformed.
- inside an SUV parked on the street there were, i'd guesstimate, about 58 post-it notes. stuck to the dash board and center console. post-it notes upon post-it notes. some reinforced with scotch tape. i'm serious.
an awesome thing that was said to me today:
- "yeah, she collects these little penguins and calls them 'puffins.' i'm going to call you 'puffin,' ally."
nothing synchronous so far. but i've had a lovely day despite that fact. and it's only halfway through. good times ahead.
here's my latest vox post:
big synchronicity of the (yester)day: oprah book club.
i had coffee with the woman for whom i babysit yesterday and then we went to Borders. we were in the christian book section and discussing spirituality books in general and as we walked through the store, on one of the tables we saw a book by eckhart tolle. she asked if i'd ever read anything by him but i haven't.
blah blah blah, the day wears on, and later i'm in our living room watching tv, surfing the nets and talking with roommate and her boyfriend. somehow (i can't remember why) the oprah book club comes up in conversation. i say 'well, at least people are reading.'
blah blah blah, now it's party time and i'm having a drink with a friend. we're talking books. i tell her of the shadow book i'm reading that is totally awesome and everyone should read, and she says she's reading a book about the ego. she's reading 'a new earth' by eckart tolle. she learned about it on oprah. oprah has an online discussion group for the book.
now i don't want anyone to look down their nose at my friend. she's a smart young lady and i admire her, even if she does endorse oprah and her book choices.
she isn't down with tolle, though. she says he's kind of hard to understand and what she's gotten from the book thusfar is that we should 'fight the urge to think.' she think the book encourages lack of opinion and lack of criticism and lack of contemplation.
the moral of this post is that oprah book club can be synchronous, too.
also, barack obama sealed the deal last night. remember when oprah endorsed him? mmm ... smell the synchronicity. i love it.
here's how you can read past posts.