kermit watching 2 girls 1 cup

chicago's fun.

tonight we were minorities in a neighborhood bar. i danced without my friends and it was great.

then i tried to buy a hypnotiq on the rox for jeff, but they didn't have it. so we each drank 'blue m*th*rf*ck*rs and danced to 'juicy' by notorious b.i.g.

this is what i look like after a fake night out in edgewater:



also, i got a job today. and HOPEFULLY an apartment. more details to follow.

getting lost at least once a day

i don't know why i'm trying so hard to find my own place here in chicago. crashing with troy and jeff is pretty swanky. for instance, right now i'm watching digital cable on a flat screen tv. and i'm on my guest room bed.

also, this place talks to me. whenever a lockable door is opened. it tells you which lockable door you just unlocked and opened.

it's nothing like this:



but it's still pretty neat.

three g's in the bank

last shift at the circus cafe tonight. the bosses weren't there. thank you. that was the perfect going away present.

as was the big sundae my coworkers and i feasted upon.

this is what i look like while scouring craigslist:



good byes are awkward for me. i'm not really looking forward to tomorrow.

on a more blog-topic-related note, tonight michael the bartender was asking if i said my good-byes to various friends of mine that he knows. namely uncommon grounds staff. he named one person and -- seriously -- not two seconds later, that person walked in. SYNCHRONICITY!!!

michael's psychic just like me.

time to vacate

lordy, lordy. what a way to spend my final saratoga saturday.

happy travers day!! wah wah wah work went by quickly until the obnoxious band started playing and i had to scream at my tables and they at me and then i fell! OUCH!

but i did walk home with $300 i did not walk to work with.

this is seriously what the back of the band's frontman's head looks like (he wears things like what i believe are zoot suits and red crocodile shoes) i'm scared that this might also be what the front of an album looks like:



and this is what i look like at my own personal post-travers party:


my married crush invited me out for a drink after work but once i hit putnam street i decided i couldn't do it. too many peoples! this makes leaving all the easier.

but enough complaining. wait, one more thing: i barfed up a cup of orange juice that i drank after work (i think we'd better check expiration dates tomorrow before serving it) and now i'm regretting that tasty Chewy bar you see me so daintily devouring above.

ok. now i'm done.

uh oh ...

oops. this doesn't wash out.


it says ouroboros.

and it didn't hurt too bad. part of it even felt nice.

gerry says the book is better

webcam fun:



i have my computer back and i hung out with the mehans tonight! BONUS.

mister mehan thinks david bowie is great, but the novel 'the man who fell to earth' is better than the film. i wrote it down so i could be the judge.

i think we can all agree than david bowie's 'the man who sold the world' was cheapened when kurt cobain decided to sing it on mtv. UNPLUG THIS, DEAD MAN!!!

i went for you in military times

for as long as i can remember, i've always had a desire (one that i know will never be sated, save in dream) to hold a bird in my hand and squeeze its body. ditto for fish.



i don't want to crush it. i don't want to hurt it. i just want to see what it feels like.

then i think about 'of mice and men.' i've never read it. i have only a hazy memory of watching it in junior high. and that hazy memory is of the retarded dude squeezing and killing a mouse. (did a dog get shot, too, or am i just pigeon-holing books read in junior high that take place on a farm?)

i guess i wouldn't mind squeezing a mouse. OH! or a squirrel!!

am i retarded? what does this all mean?

also, one week from today, suckaz. i'll be outta here.

and another thing ...

this is something that's been stewin' in my brain, but only taken from the pot (sup stretched metaphor?) this evening whilst chatting with a pal:

what up with all the hot dog stands in saratoga??!

i don't get it.

i've noticed a huge increase in hot dog stands. i see them everywhere. the weirdest location i've seen one recently is in the EBI beverage center parking lot.

is it because foods are expensive and we can't feed our children?

is this some strange sort of synchronicity with me moving to chicago and the poor conditions in meat packing factories in upton sinclair's hit 'the jungle,' which was set in the windy city?

it was a sweet and whirling wind

so i wanted to really focus on and remember the things that run through my head while i make cotton candy at work. i wanted to try to remember an entire inner monologue so i could post it.

while i was up there, singing a stupid song in my head (brain residue from satellite hits), trying to also remember my inner monologue, A GHOST CONTACTED ME.

for real. the light was flickering and everything. then i said, 'are you a ghost?' and it stopped. then my manager came up. i had to tell her, just in case she heard me talking. i bet she shook her head when she walked into the office.

on another note, i'm starting to contact chicago craigslisters that need a totally sweet babe for a roommate (me). i'm including a kitchen synch link in my emails. if they can't dig digital ally, they won't be able to handle the real thing.

don't be scared, future friends. i'm tame. and a true delight.

heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who

what a disappointing and uneventful full moon.

the only cool thing that happened was me singing an reo speedwagon song at karaoke tonight. it felt good.

also i got paid to watch degrassi, so i guess i shouldn't complain about anything.

i miss having my computer. she's still somewhere far away. i imagine that place to be michigan but it's probably somewhere more technologically advanced than that.

how was your full moon weekend?

another dramatic presentation, in honor of joey greco

i had a great unscripted night tonight.

i guess that's all i'm looking for -- a break from routine.

i had dinner with a friend that i've been missing and dinner made me miss the friendship even more (i'm not talking about you, shawn. i had a different dinner tonight.). then we hung out with our international friend and celebrated his rebirth.

we welcomed him to honkeytown.




also, i realized my oxymoronicnessicity tonight. on nights when i get scared i'll not wake up on time for work, i sleep on the couch. so i don't get too comfortable. what's funny about that is that my 'bed' is a futon. a really uncomfortable futon on which i blame my need for constant coworker-given backrubs.

i haven't been in a situation where i've slept on a real bed for the majority of the week in almost two years. that's sad. maybe. i guess it doesn't bother me too much.

maybe the most oxymoronic part of it all is that our couch is cushier than my futon cushion.

YES! cheaters, my new-found second-favorite guilty pleasure television show (second only to any and all judge shows), just came on! goodnight, faithful followers!!

pressurized wishes won't work

again, my instincts are killer.

after work tonight i was super energized and i power-walked home, dreaming of taking a walk in more comfortable and fresher-smelling attire.

i changed, chatted quickly with dede and adam and then set off with some sebadoh in my ears and a beautiful skyscape above my head. i wasn't even a block away from home, and i saw what i think was a shooting star. though i was just told it may have been a meteor.

either way, it was beautiful. and my walk was pleasant.

and i learned a silver jews song on the guitar today.

and i'll be living in a brand new city and state and time zone in two weeks.

when you know how i feel, i feel better

so i was thinking more about karma when i went to sleep last night.

you never realize that it's affecting you. when something good happens, you probably deserve it. and when something bad happens, you also probably deserve it. i was talking with a friend of mine about something someone did that made me feel bad and she said 'don't worry about it. you've probably done something way worse to someone else.'

and it did make me feel better.

like, right now, i'm using dede's computer. probably because i deserve it. i let jess use mine all the time (well, i did before the death of the motherboard). and dede will earn her own computer karma points.

so, the moral of the post is: open your eyes and see that everything that's happening to you is deserved. be kind. or don't. but don't complain when the gods sh*t on you.

y means yes

my intuition and clairvoyance have been gaining strength for some time now. so i don't know why i sometimes choose to ignore ominous feelings.

especially when karaokes are involved. that's when instincts should be trusted most.

either way, i can't wait to get to chicago.

and try as my dear friend might to hide it, i know he's also excited for my arrival. or else this post wouldn't have been delayed by a much-needed phone call.

today was filled with thoughts of ouroboros and karma, and the night brought real-life experiences to bring it all back into the Here and Now for me.

and as for everyone who's been complaining about the weather: get over it. rain is good.

as i told a customer who was complaining about spending $300 a night for a hotel room during a rainy vacation: at least you have a roof over your head. some hurricane katrina victims (who would likely laugh at our half-sunny weather) are still homeless.

nilsson's playing in my head

two weeks later, still not over it.

when i'm tired and/or in a bad mood, i tend to keep quiet. there are a few reasons, all intended to prevent your feelings from being hurt by my temporary condition.

get over it. i'll smile the next day. and i'll sing a lot and you'll be wishing i was tired/sad/angry. everything moves in cycles and on my good days, you'll be yearning for a bad one.

i slept for twelve hours last night. look out.

still in (computer) mourning

i realized that i should have explained the synchronicity surrounding bernie mac's death.

this weekend, an old, dear friend of mine was in town. when we were in high school, her dad (whose retirement party she was home for) used to LOVE to watch the Bernie Mac Show. it was funny because he doesn't seem, at first glance, to be the Bernie Mac type.

but i guess you can't judge a book by its cover. i told laur about BM's death but told her not to ruin Bill's party by breaking the news to him.

*** in other news ***

i told my manager/friend that i'm moving last night. work was awful, i was exhausted, and then i was scolded for receiving a back massage from a co-worker. SAYANORA!! my revenge for said scolding was two-fold: a.) i didn't eat dinner at work (good luck paying rent without my $5!!!) and b.) i ran out after my manager and told her the news then, instead of waiting until the beginning of today's shift.

all in all, i feel better. and tired.

micro blog post!

i know, i know, i said i'd stop doing this.

i'm working a double today and i've been thinking about checking my e-mail for most of the lunch shift. the lunch shift was bad. my section was slow and then there was a magnificent rainstorm which made four of my seven tables un-sittable.

now i have to go bus and run around and clean up after people.

siiigggghhh. it'll all be okay.

i'm at the library and there's this kid on the computer next to me that i always see around town. i'm pretty sure he's about fifteen but dude has a full beard. HE GANGSTA AND I LIKE IT.

everything will work out in the end. that's my words of wisdom.

red string around my digital finger

remind me not to blog at every opportunity so that i'll stop writing stupid micro blog posts.

ugh.

anyway, in sadder news than my poor writing skillz: check out my latest STR post. and then pour one out for a fallen friend tonight.

fake blog post, too late

we tried to save kittens tonight.

one day, it'll happen.

i slept on the couch on purpose

wahhh. even my old compaq won't work anymore.

i've resigned myself to the sad, sorry fact that the only internets for me are borrowed library internets. waaaah.

loyal fans, don't forget about me. my blog posts will likely be terrible until the gateway returns to momma, but once i get it back, LOOK OUT WORLD.

i'm a prolific blogstress

brother jeff shared this image of beauty and wonderment with me today and i can't get enough of it.

behold:

look at those legs! miles high!

let's all drink to the death of a motherboard

dudes. sad day.

i've never lost (to death) anyone close to me. so i have a weird feeling toward death. i just don't really get it. i guess that's why i try to communicate with ghosts.

anyway, i just found out my motherboard died. on my beautiful red laptop. so the vlogging won't happen for at least another two weeks.

luckily, i kept my silly old compaq. so i won't have to live without my own personal internets. phew.

let the healing begin.

also, in exactly three weeks, i will be in chicago.

some blogs are bigger than others

okay, okay, okay. my three loyalest readers (or commenters, at least) have shown support for the added vlog element.

i need privacy to vlog, though. and dede is sitting right here eating cereal on the other couch. i can't vlog my first vlog with her in the room. so y'all are gonna have to wait 'til tomorrow! SORRYYYYY.

today was sposta be day one of a two-day stretch of not working. nope. didn't happen.

i'm a greedy little wench and i worked and it wasn't so bad. i received a very nice compliment from a customer: 'you've got a great personality. you use it well.'

that's what he said. (get it? like the 'that's what she said' joke, but he really did say it. HA.)

other than that, i'm gonna karaoke tonight at my favorite karaoke night in town.

a nice little tuesday, if i do say so.

over the electric grapevine

this was going to be a post-work rant, but i decided to just get over it because the day and night are over and i walked home with $200 i didn't walk to work with. and i sold my first bottle of wine tonight. and i didn't break the cork. and i work at a glorified diner, so selling a bottle of wine is impressive in and of itself.

instead, this will be a survey post. i've been toying with the idea of adding a vlog (video-blog) element to kitchen synch. dear, loyal blog readers. are you into it?

i warn you, it could be: a.) short-lived (maybe less a warning and more a promising aspect); b.) stupid; c.) dumb; d.) annoying; e.) all of the above, with added surprises.

i guess, worst case scenario, it would be b+c+d+added surprises.

i dunno.

but you could see things like the following photo in motion and with sound:

roommates that don't appreciate sunday night star trek

i said i'd write about the cats today, but upon reflection, it's just not that interesting unless you're dede or me. and i just told her about them.

i guess saratoga police pulled out their Tasers last night. after bustin' out hott jamz, i went to DA's to see who was still out. the place looked like an august-style ghost town, but i found a friend and asked him where everyone went.

'the place cleared out, what with the fight and Tasering out front. i guess no one came back,' he said.

huh? Tasering?

he said there was some sort of bloody altercation and the po-po Tased some dude. i corroborated his story (don't call me a non-believer, call me a fact-checker) with the owner of the dingy establishment i'm going to miss in a mere 24 days. (clarification: i'm going to miss the establishment, not the owner.)

things i've learned recently by sspd example: drunken bar brawls are worthy of added violence, pain and chaos; men who might be pedophiles are allowed to leave with potential victims without the authorities actively trying to reach the parent/guardian of said potential victim.



now, i'm not one to continually bash the police. i have my disagreements on certain ideologies and values, but i know that most cops genuinely want to do 'good' for fellow Man. but, geez, it's hard for me to defend recent actions i've seen first- and second-hand.

too many ryans, not enough black cats

sometimes i feel silly that i only blog of synchronicities and karaokes. but i've been told so many times by professors and scholars and friends and amateurs alike to 'write what you know.'



tonight was my third karaoke night of the week.

lots of goodness happened tonight (i'll write more tomorrow about the cats). one really great karaoke-related synchronicity was this:

since i've yet to tell my manager and/or owners that i'm leaving at the end of the month, i've been trying to be secretive (i'm not the best secret-keeper) about the move as far as work-friends go. tonight i told aj -- a bartender i've known since we were shoe depot coworkers when i was just a baby 15-year-old -- that i'm moving to chicago.

right after he said 'what's in chicago?' we both looked up at the screen and someone was singing the showtune (so many showtunes are sung at a primarily gay karaoke night) 'chicago.' it was perfect.

i'm grateful for friends who care, even if i don't seem to

right now is a time that i'm happy i haven't figured out how to set the timestamp on my blog posts to accurately reflect my time zone.

anyway, i was walking into town tonight after babysitting for people that went to marylou whitney's party at the canfield casino. i was thinking about ouroboros. seriously, i was. and what did i see on the caroline street sidewalk? A WORM. a potential tail-devourer.

poor little guy looked like he was about to dry up. i felt bad. but i was kind of hoping he was a teeny-tiny-baby snake.

i was also kind of hoping he was just a stick blowing in the wind and i was having an acid flashback or something and that's why he looked like a living creature.

still, there was synchronicity. hallelujah.

25 days til chicago.

introducing judge alex

just when i thought i could finally close my laptop and enjoy some mind-numbing afternoon television to lull me to a post-work-pre-babysitting nap, channel 4 has to go and throw me a blogworthy curve ball:

another new (to me) judge show! and i thought that being forced to sit with matthew after work would be the apex of my happiness today.


those eyebrows are eyebrows of justice. that gavel is all for show. i don't even see it on the tv.