haunt you down

i've not been blogging as much as i'd like to lately. to make up for lost time, here are some things i've been thinking about:

- i'm trying really hard to break myself of the reflexive "bless you" or "gesundheit" i offer after someone sneezes. it's very antiquated and i just get mad if i'm not thanked. i'm also trying to break myself of feeling worthless when i'm alone in public and i sneeze and no one blesses or gesundheits me. why should someone bless me for shooting my germs and boogers all up into their air?

- what is the deal with this advertising campaign? i don't get it. all i get is kind of annoyed every time i see this crap:


- is reading women's bodies women's wisdom making me think too much about my period, thus delaying its arrival? am i going to become a feminist after i'm sick of reading this massive thing? am i already a feminist? how far along into the becoming-a-feminist process do i start dating chicks?

- i've been thinking a lot about how scary the future is.

- i thought today that i want to travel to mexico.

- i've got a few short story ideas that i'm shaping in my brain before forming with words on a screen or paper. both feature me as main characters in alertnate realities. one involves super powers. the other involves the search for the american dream (rip-off of fear and loathing in las vegas. i just want an excuse to do drugs. that's a lie. so far, there aren't drugs in the story).

those are some of my more productive thoughts i've been thinking. what do you think about my thinkings?

good to be back

things i'm happy to be around again, now that i'm back in a restaurant:

- practicing spanish

- touch screens

- bustin' out dance moves to satellite hits

- that paper:


check back next week, when i reveal things i'm not happy to be around again now that i'm back in a restaurant. possible topics include: condescension, bad tippers and ketchup stains.

baa baa

so i got another job as a server at a sports bar/burger joint place.

i have to wear things like this to work:


none of my coworkers here are gay. none of them are trans. two of them are hooters alumna. i bet none of them blog.

i'm a black sheep, but i think that's a good thing.

if you have any totally awesome sports jerseys from teams you've played on, and i wouldn't be swimmin' in them, please pass them along to me. for now, i just have this free thing my boss gave me. i think it's northwestern's football team?

***editor's note: for anyone reading this post who does not know me, i am not gay or trans. but my other job is chuck fulla members of the LGBT community. ya know, 'alternative lifestyles.' these new coworkers is hella mainstream.***

zzzz ...

in the spirit of synchronicity, check this:


last night, while my vlog about discovering the seedy underbelly of edgewater was uploading to blogger, i boarded a train to get some dranks with some idiot. there were no less than 4 sleeping bums in my car.

note the missing shoe on the fellow in the photograph.

if i had known i was going to see this, i'd have brought this shoe that has been sitting on winthrop for almost a week:

drugs is friends

i've been absent from the blogosphere. i try to abide by the adage "if you have nothing nice to say, don't blog." sometimes i slip, but i do my best not to fill the internets with negativity.

my outlook on life has improved some. thus, i present vlog number two:

i added a fancy intro montage! i also wash away any false ideas you might have that i'm not a total dork. upon further review, i see that i am way too excited about crack. i guess i was mostly excited/surprised that my fellow neighbors also failed to pick it up/notice they dropped it.

here's a link to vlog number one.

today i:

- got a second job waitressing at a new location of this restaurant

- had a bite of a kangaroo burger

- had a bite of a boar burger

- tasted so many beers

- won $10 by choosing a lucky seat on the train. someone left this, without realizing they had successfully uncovered four words!:

really?

inspired by waking up to this in my inbox, i stopped by my local borders and read the beginning of a young adult book.

this series, however, was not in the YA section:


these books are for grown ups. fat, dead grown ups.

siiiggghhhh

it's my day off and all i wanna do is write forever. but my brain done dried up.

last night, against what i had told myself, i sort of participated in st. patrick's day festivities. roger is in an irish band and they were playing sort of in the neighborhood. so the residents of 1057 foster, apt 2 (sans kitten), went to see them play. it was just as overwhelming and loud and drunk as i had imagined. and there was some killer B.O. floating in the airs.

there is nothing synchronous about that story. who else thinks st. patrick's day is silly?

as foul a mood as work generally puts me in, days off depress me. i have projects to work on, but i have no motivation. lookame:


so bored. peep the best friends buttons i got for myself, jeff and adam:


i think they might be kind of insensitive, but i learned that from watching jeff.

70 degrees and sunny

lake michigan, roommate's BMX bike, nap in park, genuine joy.

CHOMPERS!

as wally pointed out in a comment on the post below, i am wearing a great shirt today. a favorite shirt, even.


this homage to hunter s. thompson (RIP) is one-of-a-kind. andrew (formerly known as 'cushbone') made it for me a few years ago when we were still friends. i think he has a larger size version that is similar to this.

he also made this kim jong il shirt and gave it to me:


he's talented.

this is a photo from when he, craig and i were an unstoppable force:


hippies.

ouroboros in two hours

i was feeling proud of myself for taking back my life and trying to push past bein' down in the dumps (i hate that expression so much for so many reasons).

i went for a superstar run after work and i did laundry and i cleaned my room. at 1 am, half my laundry was still damp and i didn't feel like searching all my bags for quarters. i decided to create a bachelor(ette) clothesline. look how quickly everything goes back to the way it was:



also, look how scary my closet always looks:


with that much crap, you'd think i'd dress better, eh?

upcoming post: don't you hate it when people say that they couldn't live without music, like they're the only people that are affected by the language of the gods? don't you also hate it when people don't even like music?? and they just listen to adult contemporary radio stations and fantasize about leaving their spouses for the lead singer of nickelback?!

beware the ides of march

i have nothing to blog about.

happy holidays! don't get stabbed!

things could be worse

in times of crushing sadness and self-loathing, we need all the good feelings we can get. even if they're at the expense of others. malapropisms always bring out my inner AP English student and help me to brush my shoulder off.

we are currently carrying fruit cups at the cafe. i believe my boss meant "medley":


i txted jeff to see if it was condescending to email boss and correct his mistake. jeff's response: "yeah. just draw music notes on the cups."

so i did. and the sign.

ugh. half our customers won't even realize the mistake anyway.

and a weird quasi-synchronicity:

last night my roommate and i watched a movie that neither of us would have ever chosen, but we ended up enjoying nonetheless. two actors in this film were also in watchmen! it was nite owl and rorschach! rorschach was a total perv! in the other movie, not in watchmen.

good/bad II

i got this at work today.

good:


bad:

good/bad

it's only just past noon but i've been goin' since 5 30am. here's a good thing and a bad thing about today.

good:

yesterday i got this rad t shirt in the mail (get your own here!!) and so today i got to wear it to work. it brought out the inner-titty fag in duke.


bad:

i decided to stop at the uptown library after depositing mad l00t at the bank. i watched a man unzip his fly as he walked on the sidewalk of ainslie and then he turned the corner and pissed on the mural on the side of the public library.

my review of life

LOL. j/k. that's my review of zak snyder's watchmen (click here to read the whole review, and see that even DAD thought it was lame. which says a lot, because dad has the uncanny ability to find the good in almost everyone and everything.).

i'm depressed. i'm going shopping. if i can afford to buy anything, maybe i'll blog about it! maybe i'll buy a new favorite shirt!!

in the spirit of further honoring dad (and giving a nod to favorite shirts), here's what i'm rockin' today:

get 'em high

for as long as i can remember, whenever i saw/heard/read "saratoga springs" in the media or elsewhere, my stomach dropped and i felt famous. even if there was a story on the local evening news that took place in our town. for some reason, it always invokes a sense of pride -- good news story or bad.

you'd think i'd be over that now that i'm livin' in the big city. lotsa news outta here. ever heard of my friends' neighbor, rod?

anyway, so today i was reading a fantagraphics comic i recently bought from the 25-cent bin (featured in my vlog):


i always check to see when/where my thrifty comic finds were published. and what to my wondering eyes should appear?


stomach dropped. i felt cool by association.

i immediately txted my long-distance crush.
me: i have a fantagraphics comic that is a product of saratoga springs!!!!!
her: WHAT ONE? is it a david greenberger thing?

thunder stolen.

i invited her to move to chicago so we could be comic-reading, taco-eating spinsters TOGETHER. she isn't ready to come out to her family yet, though.

books is friends

so. here it is. my first vlog.

i need to widen my social circle or something.

vloggin' never hurt nobody

so, i finally filmed my first vlog.

i'd been kicking the idea around since summer, but then my computer got sick and then i moved to chicago, which plunged me into a whole new phase of self-consciousness.

i have to work in half an hour and my boss finally installed this huge refrigerated display case, which means there's no room for my portable editing suite. i'll probably stay up way too late tonight trying to work around the limitations of windows video maker.

hopefully i'll be able to post it by tomorrow morning. if not, it'll be posted by friday night.

in the meantime, watch this:



<3 commander rick <3

stealers

i opened the cafe today, which means i had to run the deposit to the bank. on my journey, i noticed pier one imports totally copped my style.

they had a poster (i had no phone with which to take a photo, but this link is proof enough) advertising spring-themed crap people don't really need for their homes. the poster said, "c'mon get hoppy."

months upon months ago (i think it was before thanksgiving, even), i designed my favorite pause sign:

i will never top that.

here's a brief rundown of the best part of my shift this morning, as seen through the eyes of a fairy.

she was beautiful

i recently bought 'the bell jar,' even though i tend to run far and fast from female authors, artists, etc. i was inspired when i saw it at a store because a friend had blogged about s. plath just days before.

what. a. book. i've got two chapters left. i think if i read it again, i'll try not to do so during the throes of winter depression.

anyway, today during my workout i used a new mantra, inspired by ms. plath's words. i learned about workout mantras from some idiot. my new mantra today was "i am i am i am." (it's from the book. it's not about being strong, really. it's about trying to drown, but failing.)

i know, i know. i am stupid. whatever. i bet my workout today was more powerful than yours. i am a winner.

so, here i am, layin' in bed. thinking about going to sleep since i have to be to work at 6 am. i just watched alan moore and dave gibbons on 'prisoners of gravity,' a show i plan to watch so much more of. then i remembered that i don't know what sylvia plath looked like. so i googimasearched her.

i think this is synchronous -- here's one from the first page of results:


i still think my tattoo is better.

forecast: crap

holy moly. i've never read such a bleak horoscope. MARCH IS GONNA SUCK. wait!! i just remembered i don't believe in susan miller's forecasts anymore!!! REDEMPTION!!

but no matter what, i have this (book report coming soon) to 'guide me through these troubling times,' thanks to duke and wally:


also, this guy is my current wallpaper:


can anyone help me with this burning question?

week-old synchronicity

oops. i hadn't even realized i took this photo, so i wasn't going to blog about it. luckily for all of y'all, i did take the photo.

last saturday, i returned from a lovely evening of dinner at a favorite thai restaurant with a favorite friend, followed by a viewing of coraline in 3D, topped off with a slurpee from 7-eleven.

look what was on my desk (not a staged photo):


i was trying to make an two-year-old shirt less H&M-y (to no avail) and removed these buttons from the sleeves. in Coraline, everyone has buttons for eyes in the 'other world.'

look at my button-emellished cardigan:


also, big ups to my mom, who i'm always ragging on for not reading this blog. she sent me an email informing me that the jewelry line that escaped me in a previous post is sarah coventry. this blog's for YOU, mom! nothing inappropriate at all! i'm pregnant.