diamonds are fornever

my life is about to get a hell of a lot bloggier.

i decided to say "fuckit" to pitchfork music festival (sorry, built to spill. i have been wanting to see you for like, lots of years, but i've made it this long. maybe it's better this way). why? i have my ticket already, see?


well because today i saw my super smart and radical (in the real sense, not the surfer sense) and active gal pal lisa and she's about to move to cali for her dream job. i told her how i got into grad school and she told me about the allied media conference. i gotta do it, dudes. it's gonna be radical (in both senses).

i'm really excited. a weekend in detroit full of multimedia workshops and social justice and learning how to integrate these things and meeting people from all around the whole wide country! i was thinking recently how it isn't fair that my queer friends get to go to conferences, which jeff pointed out is just an excuse to f*ck. there aren't any conferences like that for people like me. well ... i guess i have two lined up this summer ... but you know what i mean.

also, tonight i added two little linky things in the sidebar: "these are a few of my favorite shirts" and "blogging is vlogging". this is for ease of navigation. and for boredom.

also watched another bond movie. ... yaawwwnnn ...

roses only work on wives

knowing the day ahead of you will likely be as unpleasant as the night behind you calls for fashion therapy. if you don't have a "sense of fashion," it calls for a skirt that makes you feel like you are truly free and a new-to-you shirt that is funny.

straightforward.

i was all set to blog about the nat sherman synchronicity of tonight (got an email from a friend i miss terribly and worry about even terribly-er and he mentioned smoking nat shermans, and then tonight at a show my homeboy pulled out a nat sherman. even MORE synchronous is that both studly men share the same first name. nathan. nat. get outta town with that synch!!!).

instead, i clicked through a banner ad on the latest dear prudence advice column because it said ally but i wasn't sure if it was some trick that somehow knows the users' names or if it was ally as in friend.

you tell me. please try to see if it says shawn or paul or kristina or bobby or wally or whatever your stupid name is.

does any of this make sense to you? does my new skirt make it better?

hellbound

jeff and i started a new blog.

we're going to hell anyway. these people deserve everything they've got coming to them on the blog.

and don't worry, i plan to post a picture of my own face really soon. i'm one of the biggest idiots i know.

also, an update to this recent post: if you are a girl in white or any other color wayfarers (but mostly white), i really wish you would stop wearing them. really. if you are a dude in wayfarers that aren't black or tortoise, i also wish you would stop wearing them. thanks, guys.


sorry if i'm being offensive or full of hate. i don't wanna. i'm projecting.

tail devourin'

i'm putting the axe on vlog three. i was trying to upload it for over 12 hours today and when i got home from work, it still hadn't finished uploading. i'm taking that as a sign that i should spare y'all.

the theme of this post is: when ouroboros bites you in the ass (get it?!??)

at work i saw a woman that looked like a dear friend of mine and i wanted to take her picture. then she sat at my table. then she and her hubby and their dining companions were totally awesome and fun and she pulled out a flip and started filming me. i told her about shawna lee and she said "oh, she's my cosmic twin!" and i said "no, beotch, she's MY cosmic twin!"

check it. rose, the delightful customer:


shawn, the delightful bosom buddy:


then things went from blissful to awful. mistakes on orders. missing credit card slips. creepy man in a car talking to me in the parking lot.

i came home and was happy to see that the dear friend/roommate who hasn't made himself visible to us in days made his presence apparent by leaving both doors to his hallway open. i'm very glad to not have returned to a suicide note.

now here i am, resisting the comfort that lies in the freezer (jug of vodka, half-gallon of cookie dough ice cream), watching roseanne alone and blogging. oh snap, i just realized the synchronicity of watching roseanne! rose the customer's full name is roseanne! srsly! i ran her credit card!

sup, rosey?!

me n my mini skirt

i had the weirdest walk home from work tonight.

it all started with only making $39 on a saturday night. then i was reading txt messages over this dude's shoulder on the train. i felt really guilty and then dreamt up a project that involves CTA eavesdropping. more to come on that front ...

the weirdness continued when i got off at my stop, then remembered i was going to a birthday gathering, and walked a few blocks north to jewel to buy chocolate for the birthday person. i saw cops peering around the building of a discount female clothing retailer. they were three grown (over-grown, if i do say so myself ::cough, cough, donuts, cough::) men and they were giggling and scheming like eight-year-old idiots. i took a photo, but got nervous when one of them saw me, and accidentally deleted it. i was hoping to watch them catch a crook, only to be intercepted by a caped crusader. disappointed, i saw one of them look in a trash can and say, defeated, 'i guess he has it with him.' yawwwnn ...

then, when i was walking home from buying chocolate, i think i discovered a neighborhood brothel! i was waaaayyyyyyyyy too scared to take a photo, but maybe i'll work up some nerve. maybe i'll even, at boner's suggestion, apply for a job.

here's what i saw/heard/smelled (jk) that made me think brothel:
- bad music pouring out a window
- chick with low-cut shirt pouring her boobs over a balcony, just lookin' down at the street. totally ready to party.
- blonde 'sexy' doll in scant red outfit hanging on the wall next to boob-pourer. not a blow-up doll, but not really anything much more sophisticated

the weirdness ends there, really. i made a probably bad impression on new people at the birthday gathering because i have problems presenting myself well after half a drink. at least i'm a cheap date, right?

anyway, vlog number three should be posted very soon. tuesday at the latest. it's a boring one. i shouldn't be amping it up so much.

seein' red

as i was brushing my teeth for work just now, i realized that i haven't waited tables in three days. that's a long time, considering i've been working 4 or 5 day weeks at the restaurant for the last 2 months.

i'm a little nervous. this long break could be good: i'm rested and haven't had to provide customer service, so my smiles will be a little more genuine. this long break could also be bad: i might be off my game!!

but. i'm wearing a shirt that i've been told 'puts the girls front and center'


i've also received a compliment a few times over on the greatness of the font on this shirt from one design-lovin' dude.

also, i have freckles that distract me when i look in the mirror (i hope you can see them in this pic)


also, brian just came in to deliver chocolate happiness to me


also, i recorded some vlog footage today, so be looking for that this weekend.

all of these things will keep me going tonight. thank you thrift store, sunshine, brian and webcam.

xoxo,
ally

a few synchs

yesterday was synchronous, dudes.

i took a nap and had a dream about riding a roller coaster. this ride left me feeling dizzy upon waking. i found, upon waking, an email from jeff planning a trip to six flags.

also, i made the decision yesterday that i was going to order a video camera online so i can get started working on some video projects i've been kicking around in my head. for my future. for america. i looked around on some discount electronic sites, got bored, and started to head out to visit jeff. as i was leaving, brian went on woot.com and found that the daily woot was a cam! i said, 'i have to buy that, because of my beliefs.'

also, i found out last night that i got into grad school. i'm 98% sure i'm gonna do it. which means i'm committed to chicago for two more years. mixed feelings.

metal i enjoy so much

i don't use my blog enough to support the artistic and other kinds of endeavors of my friends. thus, i present some unsolicited promotion for a band i believe in:


if you don't already know and love these fag hags and the music they make, you should check 'em out. if you check 'em out and enjoy what you hear, you should buy their music. i already pre-ordered a copy of their new album even though i secretly stole an unmastered copy of it from jeff. i listen to it often when i run. powerful shit.

they're going on tour soon on the east coast. go see them. their shows are fun. there are rumors of a midwest tour at the end of summer. stay tuned.

i'm always blogging about jeff. i'm your publicist, dude. don't ever call shawn and i stupid again.

why not?

i bought trashy carrot underwears today:

this put tears in my eyes

and it also put bumps on my arms. goosebumps and dorkbumps.

NEIL GAIMAN IN CHICAGO FOR FREE!!!!!

other stuff i plan to take full advantage of as a rich lady livin' in a happenin' city this summer:

- comicon
- pitchfork fest (day one)
- garrison keillor show
- blog o'donnell's visit to town
- free white sox game
- six flags
- other things

be cool

for some reason, i really don't like sunglasses. i especially don't like them indoors. but i have this weird thing where i think mean things about most people i see wearing sunglasses. not all people, and not all sunglasses. but most.

what do i dislike more than sunglasses? transition lenses!!! or, as brother jeff and i call 'em, trannies. i like trannies in the sense of transgender bros and chicks, on the whole. but trannies in the sense of eyeglasses lenses that change with the light creep me out!

my disdain for sunglasses could stem from the fact that i don't wear them. i guess i could. i could take off my real glasses and replace them with tinted shades, but then things would be blurry and i don't want that.


this post was inspired by overwhelming guilt from thinking bad things about a dude in shades at the coffee shop where i'm headquartered. i'm supposed to be researching grad schools. instead i'm just hatin'.

champ song

today's highlights:

- extended post-work nap
- brian surprised me during nap with a little snuggle time, but i just laid there
- saw a bunny at the beginning of 5.4 mile run
- glass of wine after 5.4 mile run

today's lowlights:

- woke up to menstrual blood. my last period ended about a week ago. i guess my body is making up for lost time.
- extended post-work nap
- brought garage keys home from work. had to go back there after nap.
- watching car shows on tv with brian

brian asked about a week ago to be featured in a blog post. here's your big day, bri!!

this is brian and i chillin on our laptops, watchin' cable tv. so candid:


this is brian and jeff playing wii, falling more in love with every minute. i'm glad i was there to see the magic:

i gchatted mom for mother's day

my night last night began with this sight:


i sighted the sight on my walk to hail a cab. i got in the cab and headed toward diversey rock n bowl:


my cabbie was swiggin' on a red stripe bottle. after a fun night of bowling with handsome homosexual hipsters (which naturally led me to wish d'arnell was nearby to fall in love with them all), i went to a college party on the second floor of my building.

the party was fun. jeff and brian came too. we (i) were (was) gonna seriously buy molly (really, ally?). all of a sudden i woke up and i was still in my dress but in my bed and an hour and a half late for work. i felt like this, only waaaay drunker:


i got to work after buying a ten-dollar red-stripe-free cab to find out i could go home and return at four.

happy momma day.

myspace

i have never been a morning person. not even on christmas when i was a kid. i vividly remember jeff and paul coming into my room to wake me one christmas morning (based on where we were living, i was five years old).

sometimes i like to hide out in my bedroom for as long as i can manage because i don't like talking in the morning. not even to any of the wonderful roommates i've had in my life. today is one of those times (except for my brief escape to pee and get some grapes).


i wanted to take this "me" time to blog (duh) and i thought i'd snap some webcam shots of my room, even though any straight male living in chicago will undoubtedly see it for themselves some drunken night coming soon (so much sarcasm).

my closet, home to myriad t-shirts, scarves and not-worn-often-enough dresses:


"sex kitten":


the art adam and brian found for me in an alley. he is an etching on plywood of a n00d d00d on stage. my track lights highlight him perfectly. i love this guy:


books. adam brought those flowers home for me one night. we are so in love. (i'm leaving out the part where some woman had a huge box of flowers on the bus and was giving them away.)


well, the grapes are gone and i'm feeling a little more spry. i might have a quick ouija session and then go for a run or something. cross your fingers that i'll get called off work tonight so i can go to wally's rock-n-bowl party tonight. also, the college dudes that live in our building invited us to a party tonight. if the n00d d00d etching's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'!



thanks for stopping by.

i hate everything

i have no future.

upon moving here, i had a really moving experience when visiting the mccormick freedom museum. i loved it. i cried. i decided that i have to go to grad school and continue to pursue my interests in media.

a few months back, i saw an ad for a job at the freedom museum. while doing research for my cover letter, i found out that the freedom museum is now a mobile unit. it is no longer housed in the tribune building. instead it travels around to schools in the midwest, which is great, but i was a little saddened by the transiency of its current state. tourists and citizens can no longer stumble upon this under-rated gem.

yesterday was in the 70s and sunny and i had no work obligations at all so i went downtown because i haven't gone south of my neighborhood in over a month. among other sights i saw, i noticed a bunch of signs in the window of what used to be the mccormick freedom museum that said 'bullseye bazaar.'

i was hoping it wasn't referring to target. i was hoping i've just been brainwashed by clever marketing to always associate a bullseye with target. i didn't cross the street to check it out.

today i'm on the trib's web site and i see a little banner ad for bullseye bazaar. sickening.

that space went from a liberating zone of empowerment to a tangible sign of the times. corporate dollars gobbling up non-profit messages. retail outlet in the building that also houses a newspaper. the american dream.

what am i going to do when i grow up? i want to produce interactive news content. i want it to be uninfluenced by advertisers. i don't want to be a waitress forever. it makes me feel a little dirty. bullseye bazaar makes me feel even dirtier.

bloggin' in the name of jewf

jeff and i had really good synchronicity the other night. our plans for the night morphed drastically, as the rock n roll show we thought we were going to had taken place the night before.

so we kept changing what we were going to do next and ended up drinking vodka and playing cards at my place. the synchronicity that affirmed we were doing the right thing? A TRIPLE WAR. jeff was squealing like a teenage swine. he loved it.

i think it was queens - nines - threes? something like that. we are both queens, i know that much.

syncho de mayo

holy moly.

i just wrote a post complaining about a dude giving me the "hang-on-a-minute-i'm-on-the-phone" finger today in the middle of ordering a cafe au lait, but i just deleted that sh!t.


speaking of sh!t, i'm doing laundry for the first time in the new crib and it ended in me composing this e-mail to our landlord:

There is another issue we've noticed related to the basement. When the washing machine empties, the drain backs up and it smells strongly of sewage. There is a huge puddle under and surrounding the washing machine after use. Thanks for your time, Ally Brian and Adam

ugh. y'all know how i feel bout poops. especially poops of others.

i'm the only woman living in this building. the other two units are filled with early-20s bros who blaze madd trees all day. never have i felt beyond my years as i do in this city full of idiots.

also, everyone wish wally a happy birthday!

day at ikea

omg i hate not having a reliable internet connection at home. this is making me realize what a dork i am and how much i rely on my digital connections with people.

domestic bliss: