i guess this is good-bye

i'm done blogging.

maybe not forever, but for now.

i was going to walk away wordlessly, but i think a good-bye is called for.

it's been real, y'all.

partly i just don't have time to blog. partly i just don't care to blog. mostly i'm trying to limit my hypocritical actions. each day i grow more and more displeased with mundane self-broadcasting via digital media.

it's me, it's not you. i love you.


i've enjoyed our time together. i'll still be reading your blog (or self-absorbed facebook status updates).

hugs 'n kisses,
ally

i thought of you

a blogger i enjoy posted this video and now i can't stop listening to this song:



sometimes finding out about new bands isn't disappointing.

you're not teaching me a new thing

for days i've been trying to think of the perfect metaphor for this thing.

it has been the goal of the last few runs i've gone on. it has been the thing i know i'll wake up having dreamt of. it is what will temporarily satisfy me and if i could just think of it, i'd write it here and though you might not understand completely, you'd understand this hanging dissatisfaction.

it's kind of like this:


or maybe that's a better metaphor for trying to find the metaphor. the biggest problem is i get bored with the metaphor problem and start thinking about other things, like coffee or money or sleeping or something.

how do real writers do it?

life must be so wonderful

today i had two moments of blissful wonderment at the beauty of nature and existence in general.

do you ever have moments like that? i get it almost every time i eat a banana, but to a lesser extent. think about bananas for a minute. i'm being completely sincere here. i'm not making fun of stoners. think about a banana and think about how someone figured out how delicious it is (don't get me started on banana bread) and if your mind isn't at least a little figuratively engorged, you should check your pulse. even before someone (likely someanimal rather than somehuman) figured out how to eat it, just think about its structure in general. amazing!!!

the first of my earth-mother moments took place on my first run along the lake of 2010. granted, i wasn't able to complete my favorite route because of ice, but the sky above the lake is so much heavier than the sky above the land. far out.

the second moment happened on my walk home. the moon was watching me and reassuring me that i'm not as alone as i feel and i even spotted a few stars. in the city, when i see stars, i feel grounded and like everything is going to be okay.

on days like today i wonder if i'm moving along the right path at all. maybe i should have gone to live and work at omega a few years ago when the opportunity presented itself (i kid, i kid).

i actually think these feelings are related to hormones and where my eggs are at this very moment. either way, i'm totally groovin' on earthly vibes.