keep your germs, dude

ok, this has been bugging me for a while, so i'm interested to get a real-deal internet conversation going about it.

sneezes. responses to sneezes. can we agree to just not respond when someone squirts their germs all over the place? please? or can we at least agree to leave "god" and "blessing" out of the equation? and german, for that matter?

earlier this week, a friend was sneezing in the midst of a conversation i had with him, and i didn't say anything in response to these sneezes, even though they awkwardly interrupted the stream of bullshit i was spewing into his poor lil' ear canals. so i asked him if he thinks it's rude that i don't conform to the social norm of blessing fellow man post-sneezage. he's on my side, as i'd figured he would be.

a few months back, after spending days with a sneezy person and never saying anything, i blurted out, "i don't say 'god bless you' after people sneeze. i hope it doesn't seem rude." he said it does but i still haven't figured out if he really thinks it seems rude or if he was yanking my chain.

either way, i have many reasons to not want to say stuff after someone else sneezes:

1. i ain't believe in your god that i'm asking to bless your little nose-tickle. sorry.
2. all of the weird speculated origins of the tradition of saying "god bless you" are so antiquated to be rendered irrelevant today.
3. you're the one sending germs and spit and snot and mucus hurtling through the air! shouldn't you say "excuse me" or "i'm sorry" or "gross!!!" or something???

well, that's about all i've got. i'm interested to hear what my readers think about this whole ordeal.

omnipresent

giant leaps backward

maybe i'm a bit more free-wheelin' than the average american young lady, but i am almost 100% sure that i haven't shaved my legs more than once in the same week at all in 2010. not a single man who has touched these luscious gams has complained (okay, so the sample size is small ...).

i'm not going to get too in-depth about my grooming habits, but that should give you an idea of where i'm coming from.

my friend recently posted a link on facebook to an article about "virgin bikini waxing". that is waxing pre-pubescent pubic hair from little girls.

i'll let you digest that for a moment.

do i really need to go on and on about how disgusting and, pardon my french, F*CKED that is? honestly, i think it's really weird that grown women get brazilian waxes or shave their pubes off completely. if i learned anything the first time i saw "The Vagina Monologues" (as a virgin), it is that pubic hair is there for a reason. and it really isn't so ugly, if you ask me. it is mature. and post-pubescent. that is sexy.

again, i'm a bit more free-wheelin' about these things. ladies, if you feel good looking like you've not gone through puberty from the waist down, that's your thing. i fear you might be doing it to please a man, which is troubling, but as an adult you can make that decision for yourself. dudes, if you think this is hot, i think you're a little weird and hope you never see my genitals (and vice versa). but really, bringing your daughter in to have three sprigs of pubic hair yanked from such a tender region? i don't even know where to begin with the bad messages being sent to these little girls. they are doomed to swim the choppy waters of body image issues and self-loathing for a good chunk of their lives.

THIS, people, is why we all just need to quit reproducing for a while.

post-script: can anyone enlighten me if lesbians (real lesbians, not porn lesbians) are into the "shaved" look? i'm curious. personally, i like a little human fur.