sneezes. responses to sneezes. can we agree to just not respond when someone squirts their germs all over the place? please? or can we at least agree to leave "god" and "blessing" out of the equation? and german, for that matter?
earlier this week, a friend was sneezing in the midst of a conversation i had with him, and i didn't say anything in response to these sneezes, even though they awkwardly interrupted the stream of bullshit i was spewing into his poor lil' ear canals. so i asked him if he thinks it's rude that i don't conform to the social norm of blessing fellow man post-sneezage. he's on my side, as i'd figured he would be.
a few months back, after spending days with a sneezy person and never saying anything, i blurted out, "i don't say 'god bless you' after people sneeze. i hope it doesn't seem rude." he said it does but i still haven't figured out if he really thinks it seems rude or if he was yanking my chain.
either way, i have many reasons to not want to say stuff after someone else sneezes:
- i ain't believe in your god that i'm asking to bless your little nose-tickle. sorry.
- all of the weird speculated origins of the tradition of saying "god bless you" are so antiquated to be rendered irrelevant today.
- you're the one sending germs and spit and snot and mucus hurtling through the air! shouldn't you say "excuse me" or "i'm sorry" or "gross!!!" or something???
well, that's about all i've got. i'm interested to hear what my readers think about this whole ordeal.