this is what happened

in city summertime, when your window is open and the ceiling fan is rattling at full hilt, sometimes it's hard to tell whether or not it's raining outside. i can hear some tinkling, but maybe it's just the neighbors' window air conditioning unit. or maybe it's rain. it was humid today. it's so hard to tell. it's always hot in this apartment. sometimes the wooden floors seem to sweat.

on a day like today it's hard to think of something to do. i'd like very much to just go to sleep until it's time to go to work tomorrow. i had my first day off in nearly two weeks today and couldn't think of a thing to do. slept 'til a bit past noon and got up to cook some eggs for my boyfriend and i. then we walked to the park to draw pictures and read a book and then we walked back to his home when that had run its course. we watched a japanese art film, all the while knowing he'd rather be downstairs at work on his computer. as soon as the movie was over, he was scooting my bottom out the door and onto the porch.

i was left to entertain myself. i was hungry, so i ate. then cleaned up my room. stepped out to pick up a pint of ice cream. i ran into an acquaintance at the market and struggled with ending the conversation. then i came home and did some reading, ate some raspberries.

i hear a cat in heat out there now, and it sounds like a siren. like a problem, an emergency. i guess, in a way, it is. momma kitty needs some lovin'. it sounds like a plea, begging. the longer i listen, i think maybe it's just the baby next door. it's so hard to tell.