je bande

i had really awesome synchronicity today. synchronicity that made me feel powerful and slightly creepy.

remember a while ago i transcribed some journal scrawlings of a mostly truthful fantasy about a handsome stranger? i actually truncated the real story, but it was for the best. anyway, today i was returning to the cafe from depositing so much money at the bank and i was fantasizing an encounter with michael, the handsome stranger. i was preparing myself to ask him his name the next time i saw him. (pro tip: if you are a customer at my shop and you are hot and i ask you your name, that means i am hitting on you. i have no game.)

anyway, here's the little fantasy. i'm sure you see where this is going.

me: what's your name?

him: i'm michael.

me: get outta here! really?

him: yeah, why? (he's giggling with his perfectly soft voice)

me: well, i like looking at you. you have good style. one time, after you left, my friend and i made up a name for you and that name is michael.

ally and michael ride off into the sunset astride color-changing unicorns to paint each other's toenails on the dark side of the moon.

so, i'm walking down berwyn avenue and i see my buddy eric smoking a cigarette and i realize i'm smiling like a fool, lost in my fantasy. it's cold and i have a lot of money in my pocket so i scurry back indoors, rather than stand outside with him. as i am hanging my coat, the door opens. i turn to look and guess who it is?

yes. MICHAEL.

"okay," i told myself, "this is it. this is your time to shine." with two dear friends sitting front-row, i rang michael up and asked him his name. it was awkward and clumsy and his name is not michael. i won't tell you his actual name, but know that it is the name of an angel (i'm not sure if that's true, but it is biblical) and it is not a disappointing name.

anyway, brian and kate didn't realize i was hitting on michael. i'm sure michael didn't realize i was hitting on him. that's not important anyway. i wouldn't want to actualize my fantasy.

the point is, i summoned him and he heeded the call. modern lust.

ladies

amiright?

look!

this pretty much sums up my current frame of mind:

in a positive way! letting stuff go in the 2K11!

i'm free!

big thanks to a jezebel commenter for the julie andrews image!

new year, new blog

happy new year, dudes. whatever that means.

i was totally scrooging this year and anti-holiday. mostly because i was in chicago for the entirety of the holiday season and knew i'd not get to see my family at all. but guess what? i had a really awesome holiday season! i have really awesome friends! i love them! livin' and lovin' in the 2K11!

i've given a lot of thought to holidays and consumerism and tradition and social pressure and authentic gestures in the last two months. i'm not sure if i've come to any solid conclusion about any of it, though. except one thing, maybe: f*ck gifts. i like getting 'em, sure. and it's fun to give them. but i hatehatehatehate the obligation. i hate receiving a gift that someone felt obligated to give and i hate giving a gift that i feel obligated to give. i don't think there's an easy answer to it because we're all bound up so tightly with our traditions and our nostalgia and our penchant for purchasing.

anyway, that's a tangent i'm not really prepared to continue down so publicly. buy me a beer and we'll talk, if you're interested in hearing more*. down to the nitty-gritty now: resolutions!

new year's resolutions are ultimately stupid, but there's no harm in making them, right? and trying to remember them in july. that's the most important part.

mine:

- don't fear happiness (or the reaper).

- complete projects, big and small.

- write everyday. this is my resolution every year, but this year it's gonna happen!

- listen to more prog rock. it makes me feel so good!

what are yours? tell me! tell the internet! commit, y'all!

*edit: gifts of beer are perfectly acceptable and should never be obligatory. amb